


Letters

by Jassmine



Series: The Starling and the Rake [8]
Category: Mansfield Park - Jane Austen
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Feelings, Introspection, Letters, Music, Relationship Study, Self-Esteem Issues, Siblings, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic, dysgraphia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:13:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24453463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jassmine/pseuds/Jassmine
Summary: Dear Mary, I am just arrived. Bath seems full, and everything as usual. Yours sincerely.Henry wasn't good enough brother.
Relationships: Henry Crawford & Mary Crawford
Series: The Starling and the Rake [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1726675
Kudos: 11





	Letters

**Author's Note:**

> Please note, that English isn't my first language and I don't have a beta. So, I will be glad for all your suggestions and comments on grammar (or whatever else you feel like commenting).
> 
> So… Fanny made me write this – more on that in the end notes. Just the quatation here...  
>  _..."Yes, except as to his writing her such short letters. She made me almost laugh; but I cannot rate so very highly the love or good nature of a brother, who will not give himself the trouble of writing anything worth reading to his sisters, when they are separated. I am sure William would never have used me so, under any circumstances. And what right had she to suppose that you would not write long letters when you were absent?"_  
>  Also thank you for all your kind response, I appreciate it very much (it also made me to sit on this and finaly finish it). I will definitely write more of this, but exam period is here, so I am not sure when will be next one (I have some in progress though so those would probably be out soon enough).  
> Pieces of mainly Chapter VI.

Henry was selfish and he was very well aware of it. He refused to open Everingham for Mary when she asked him to – for his own self-centred reasons, so he could preserve his liberty and free movement. Going to Everingham meant more work and less pleasure and he didn’t want to give that up for his sister… Instead he took her to Mrs. Grant. (That was undoubtedly selfish in his own eyes, more so, because he could never regret it.)

He wasn’t even able to write a long letter to her – which was at this point a long going joke between them. But to be honest, it was more of a sore spot to him. He couldn’t understand it, he was always such a reader, enjoying books and acting them out loud. But when he should write something… Getting the words out of his head was a first difficulty. He sat down, took a pen and it didn’t fit in his hand properly – it never did. He has a paper ready; everything is set – and he just can’t get his words out. Nothing interesting happened but he already planned what he will write to her. All of his words are missing now. Blanc paper just stares at him. After a while he just gives up, settling for a few pleasantries. _Dear Mary, I am just arrived. Bath seems full, and everything as usual. Yours sincerely_. He was familiar with those phrases and that made them much more easier to write. It still took time to wrote them. He always wrote slowly and carefully; it was so easy to misspell a word or forget that another person must be able to read that after him. His handwriting is very neat actually, but it is due to practise and concentration not naturally skilful hand.

Henry never realised that not everybody has those difficulties. He thought himself selfish. Not good enough brother. But that was fine really. He made his peace with it. (Afterall there is no hope for a cure of selfishness.)

* * *

Mary couldn’t wish for a better brother. She knew how men could have been like – fathers, brothers, uncles… Henry never restricted her. Always give her a choice. He refused to open Everingham for her, but she could hardly hold that against him. He had every right for it, and she knew that if she would not had been able to find another solution – he would eventually comply with her wishes, even if he would make a fuss around it. She wanted to visit their sister anyway and she didn’t even need to ask Henry to accompany her. Once she mentioned Mrs. Grant he started to plan their journey.

And then there was that issue with her harp. She really loved to play. Actually… that wasn’t right, she more than loved to play. Playing was like breathing to her. Or maybe breathing just became easier when she played her harp. Leaving it behind with Admiral was painful decision for her, but it was also practical one. She couldn’t travel with it. And what if she didn’t like it at Mrs. Grant? Departing would have been much more difficult then… Logically she knew that, but she missed it regardless, so when it became apparent, they were staying she tried to arrange for it to be transported – but it wasn’t to be! No cart was available, and it was just incomprehensible for Mary. She had money, so where was the problem? If it wasn’t for Henry, she would probably never see her harp again…

She used to feel pained and wounded about his short letters. Took them as his disinterest in her. But then… she realised she was the only one he was actually writing to and she come to love his short letters. She made a game out of it, guessing what he will write to her in his next one, how many words she will get right. How many words he will write. She was getting rather good at it. And she could probably write each of his letters herself before it even arrived. But why would she do that? What really mattered was that in the end he always wrote to her.

She had tendencies to think selfishly, but she made her effort with Henry, because she never wanted to take him for granted.

**Author's Note:**

> I love Fanny, but.... must she always think the worst of people? She is judging Henry constantly. And why? Because she holds everyone to impossibly high standard. She is jealous (Edmund helping Mary with her reins) and who pays the price for that? Henry… And then she is judging him very harshly because he doesn’t write long letters to his sister. And she just assumes… and I hate that. I hate how she is thoughtless with people. And surely it could be just that he prefers to have fun with his friends over writing letters to his sister, but… she can’t know that…  
> So, I made Henry a dysgraphic… because why not? I don’t have any direct experience with dysgraphia (even though my handwriting is very messy, and I tend to misspell words) so I apologize for any inaccuracy. I read some articles and I also had a dysgraphic classmate, so I hope it is accurate enough. (Also, I had to add “dysgraphia” tag, how is that even possible?)  
> This also enabled me to explore their sibling relationship which I really enjoy in the book. Also which one of them is older? I wasn't able to find out... I imagine Mary as the older one, but I guess that is improbable in this period, that would made her almost an old maid...


End file.
